Thursday, April 20, 2006

Why are we drawn to some people -- and not others?

To create real relationships, people need to be compassionate. You can seem caring by doing a few simple things:

Smile and look the person in the eye. Warmth and connection start the process.

Touch the person. Even a quick pat on the arm will reassure them and let them know you care.

Ask the person how they’re doing – or at least how they’ve been since you last saw them. Show them you care. Don’t look at papers or into the distance while they're answering.

Nod your head, give encouraging non-verbal cues.

Don’t interrupt. Give them time to finish their thoughts.

Ask follow-up questions. Take the time to answer theirs. It creates an ongoing dialogue that is the essence of relationships.

If someone seems uncomfortable, acknowledge it. Be willing to admit that there is discomfort. It alleviates tension.

Check in with the person. Ask if they understand, have questions or need more information.

Compliment them. Everyone likes to be liked. The best way to show that you appreciate someone is to say something nice about them. In the process, you will make yourself likeable also.

Research has shown that if you spend a mere 15 seconds talking to anyone, it will seem longer to them. And, they will think you care about them. The interesting thing is that by the time you finish, you usually will. Simple acts of compassion go a long way toward humanizing all of us.

For more information, check out our website at and use our online form.

Credibility: Different for Men and Women

Although we think that if we’re knowledgeable we'll come across as credible, recent research shows that that isn’t the case.

Credibility is different for men and women.

Despite enormous advances, women still have to prove their expertise while men are considered experts if they are busy professionals.

Men can talk about what they plan to do and everyone usually buys into it. Women still have to emphasize what they've done in the past. With concrete examples.

But, men aren't necessary trustworthy. Women are.

To be credible, men need to show their humanity. That means talking about their personal life.

If a man mentions his family, he seems human. Men who speak highly of their wife or kids are seen in a much better light than men who don’t have enough time to care about personal “stuff.”

Women, on the other hand, should never mention their husband or children. It puts them in the housewife category.

To show credibility, women have to show what they’ve done. They need to have someone else sing their praises and introduce them.

They need portfolios or resumes filled with numbers that show the ability to do the get the job done. They need glowing letters of recommendation and testimonials. In that way, they come across as knowledgeable experts in their field.

For more information, check out our website at and use our online form.